A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops