why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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