Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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