how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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