When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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