What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Chuck Norris.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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