What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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