Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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