Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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I asked her where you were.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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