Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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knock knock come in

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Satan called. I put him on hold.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops