Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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