Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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