What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops