What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -13

civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The New York Giants

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -13

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops