how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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