An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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