Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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