Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a blue chair A black person

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops