Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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