What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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