What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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woman's rights

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops