Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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A man goes to the potty.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops