A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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