What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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