A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops