Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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