Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops