what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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hi michael

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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