Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -16

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops