Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Death by kayak

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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