A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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Jack Stevens

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops