Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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