News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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