Hello world

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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This is not a joke.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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A black man killed someone

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Fruitcake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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