whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

thumb_up thumb_down +43

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

thumb_up thumb_down +31

AROUND

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops