Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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woman's rights

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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my penis

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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