Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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