If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Your adopted.....

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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