Why did the black guy get arrested? Homicide.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Women rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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