Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops