If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Your adopted.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Tony Romo

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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woman's rights

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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Yes

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops