what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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