Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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star wars kid

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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