What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops