Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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