A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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womans having rights.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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