Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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