Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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