What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What's 1+1? 69.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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