blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops