Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

Poop...

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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