Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops