A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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i'm hard

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I'm Coming

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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